The court convenes twice a year, jet-lagged, to hear this case. Today we settle it.
RED CORNER
Burn the clocks
There is measurable evidence that the spring forward causes heart attacks, car crashes, and workplace injuries. We are trading two weeks of biological chaos every year for the privilege of pretending the sun cares what our clocks say. Pick a time zone, any time zone, and stay there.
BLUE CORNER
Long summer evenings forever
A 9pm sunset in July is one of life's actual joys. Kids play outside. People walk after dinner. Cities feel alive. Abolish DST and you either lose the long evenings or you wake up in pitch black for half the year. The clock change is mild. The alternatives are worse.
VS
The scorecard
Your vote:
Settle it for real —
send this to someone who'd pick the other side.